My initial score the grader of my essay gave me was a six. The explanation given for this score was that my analysis was "reasonable" and employed "literary devices" in my essay. My essay was "not error-free" but I did "refer to the text for support" often. I scored a six rather than a seven because my essay was not as "developed" as a seven essay would be. I completely agree with this grade, and considering I interpreted the excerpt incorrectly, the grade was generous. I was not aware of the author's background or even the gender of the author. The main problem I had while developing my essay was that I wasted too much time reading and internalizing the prompt and the excerpt.
A major way I could improve my essay would be to focus on the pastoral imagery and the real complexity of the passage. In my essay, I assumed the author was a women and I did not have any background knowledge of the author, so I wrote my essay from a feminist perspective. I didn't connect the pastoral imagery the author used with the men doing field work to their complacency. I also viewed their complacency in a negative way, when the author felt that "blood" knowledge was what everybody should strive for. The author felt that desire for knowledge outside of home was what prevents true happiness in women, and I did not analyze that correctly.
Another aspect I should have focused on in my essay was how the contrast between men and women negatively characterized the woman, when instead I said it positively characterized the woman. From my feminist perspective, I felt that striving for knowledge was a way for the woman to achieve self-fulfillment, while the men only fulfilled the basic needs for survival. Men were happy with work and no extended knowledge, and according to Maslow's hierarchy of needs I felt this made men superficial and even ignorant. Though the woman was disappointed with not being able to extending her horizons, like the vicar, I felt that there wanting to extend her thinking beyond basics characterized the woman as equals to the men, and even their superior. However, the desire for knowledge making the woman upset contrasting with the men following their natural instincts and being complacent was the author saying that knowledge found within is the key to true happiness and self-fulfillment. If the woman didn't waste her days longing for more, then she would be as content as the working men are.
Overall, the main issue with my essay was incorrectly analyzing this prose piece. I should have focused on stronger literary devices, such as how the use of anaphora establishes the men's complacency "It was enough" (12). If I would have realized the pieces complexity lies within the vicar's learned knowledge balanced with his blood knowledge made him master of the men, but learned knowledge alone brings pain and blood knowledge brings contentment, then I could have accurately developed an essay that was an 8 or a 9. I didn't cite my quotations correctly and I spent too long analyzing the passage when I should have started writing using sophisticated language and stronger literary devices. If I would have realized women most likely weren't published in the early twentieth century, then I could have accurately analyzed this passage. I now know to take into consideration all aspects of the prompt, the passage, and the background information given to us during the AP Exam and when writing all essays. I feel that this reflection will help me to better my future analytical essays.
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